This past semester was full of great achievements.  I went through the Doctoral prelims, I started to work in the Eastern Illinois Symphony orchestral program, I expanded my private teachings and gig reservations, I had my first studio recital where my own students performed, I went back to church again, etc.  2009 has been a productive year for me.  While I'm looking forward to the arrival of year 2010 in about a week, I'd love to treasure what I gained this year knowing the fact that nothing should be taken for granted!  It's easy to lose, but it's difficult to keep-up something~ The path to a bright future is never without pain, sweat, and despair.

Tomorrow will be the beginning of my trip to Atlanta.  I'll try my best to drive safely first toward Tennessee, and then arriving in Georgia the next day~  It's time to go to bed now.

Today's speaker in the church sermon is a doctor.  His speech on the unique qualities or personalities of God really touches me, in particular with his sense of committment as reflected in his real life.  His message presentation was just powerful~  Indeed, he touches me more than many pastors' sermons before.  Sorry, I don't mean to judge any pastor by that, and certainly there are many pastors that I truly admire... However, it is his quality of truthfulness, strong devotion, and the 'down-to-earth' approach to religion, supported by his deep spiritual experiences in daily life, that projects his message fully and richly to everyone in the congregation.

Along the same way, many amateur musicians too touch the audience with their depth and true love in music, which sometimes even professional musicians lack or 'forget'~  Right, there must be a reason that some of th greatest singers, instrumentalists, music educators, and conductors who actually began in other fields such as literature, business and others, before turning to music as a career.   What I mean is not we music students should go and study medicine or something first before coming back to music.  But we gotta have the same unique passion, love, and committent in music that keep inspiring us in the world of musical performance, just like any amateurs!  In fact, in the 17 and 18th centuries 'amateurs' were not inferior in any sense to professional musicians both in terms of musicality and technique.  As a professional musician or a student in this realm, maybe we have all the technique we need to be a fine performer, but there is hardly a second that we should forget about having a truthful heart in music with love~~~

Simon Rattle says it right about his players in the Berlin Philharmonic: the players don't ask 'how' on stage (probably because they are equipped with flawless technique already), but they ask 'why'.  Maybe that is the approach we should look for in life, that we should find the meaning of life besides working on it without a reason.  Tomorrow, in my Oral Defense too, I am going to ask myself 'why' in every aspect of music, and trust myself on the 'how' part with my preparation these few months, as well as my general musicianship, haha! 

I'm glad to be 'reborn' after two consecutive days of exams spending 12 hours in total typing in front of the computer!  I know my 'mission' is far from being done with the oral defense in a week, but I need to thank God for letting me go through the written part.  It could have been worse, but no, I feel happy with parts of my performance~  I did not waste these few months, from preparing my Doctoral Porject proposal to reading and studying for the exams, I have learnt so much things, not less than what I learned in the last two semesters combined together!  After all those times with notes, books and papers, I want to touch my cello badly now~